‘She doesn’t take no for an answer': Woman invites herself to friend's romantic getaway with boyfriend, friend refuses and ends the friendship

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 20, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Have you ever invited yourself to someone else's romantic getaway? Yeah, neither have we, yet this "friend" has no problem insisting on joining her friend's visit to see her boyfriend, just because she wanted to stay in his city for free.

Most people would feel awkward third wheeling at a date at a restaurant, so a romantic getaway in someone else's home? Why would anyone want to join that?

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  • The woman who wrote this story was dating a flight attendant named Steve, and since the two of them do not live in the same cities, they go back and forth visiting each other.

    Since Steve lives in a very touristy city, Savannah, one of his girlfriend's friends decided to try her luck and see if she could join the girlfriend the next time she travels to visit Steve. She simply asked her friend when the next time she will visit Steve, and whether he would mind it if she crashed on his couch while there. Now, imagine you are planning to visit your boyfriend, only to have your friend, who you are not even close to, demand to tag along to the romantic getaway. Why would anyone agree to that?

    The thing about Savannah is that she doesn't know how to take no for an answer, so when she was told no to her request to stay at Steve's place, she kept looking for ways to still join her friend on her visit without having to pay for accommodation.

    At some point, the friend got tired of Savannah's entitled demands…

  • Woman being a third wheel during a romantic dinner
    via tacojim

    Woman being a third wheel during a romantic dinner.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Friend invites herself to my romantic getaways

    Edit: This happened in the past. I was dating a flight attendant, Steve, who was based near a very touristic city.
    via 1961tracy
  • We had been meeting halfway and traveled to other places together for long weekends. He visited me on his time off as well.
    via 1961tracy
  • One time I visited him at his hometown and had a great time. I met his friends and liked them a lot and they seemed to like me as well.
    via 1961tracy
  • Like myself he lived very frugally with a goal to retire in a few years. He had a 2 bedroom condo and rented the guest room on Airbnb for extra income.
    via 1961tracy
  • When I got back my friend Savannah calls to see how my trip went. I fill her in on how much I enjoyed his town and friends and that we became much closer during my visit.
    via 1961tracy
  • I only knew Savannah in group situations and never hung out with her long enough to get a sense of her personality.
    via 1961tracy
  • My initial thought was that she was being a supportive friend. The next night she calls again and tells me she wants to come along with me the next time I see Steve.
    via 1961tracy
  • Person holding luggage at airport departure board
    via @ionut-dabijas-images

    Person holding luggage at airport departure board.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I tell her no, that we like our privacy. She asks about when the guest room is vacant.
    via 1961tracy
  • I tell her the only time it's not rented out is when his kids visit. This is when I learn she doesn't like taking no for an answer.
    via 1961tracy
  • She calls me a third night and asks if I can ask him to ask his friends if she can stay with them.
    via 1961tracy
  • I tell I feel like that would be a major imposition and that I won't ask him.
    via 1961tracy

  • If we were in Savannah's shoes, we would have been so embarrassed with our actions, but it doesn't seem like she cares that much. She is after one thing, and one thing only.

    The only question is – will she get it?

  • I did a reality check with a few coworkers to see if I was off base.
    via 1961tracy
  • They suggested she was out of bounds and not to further the friendship. She calls me a day or so after asking if she can stay at his friend's places with a new angle.
    via 1961tracy
  • She starts by asking if Steve plans to visit me soon. I tell her yes and she says I should have a party so our friends can get to know him.
    via 1961tracy
  • I tell her that I might do that but don't have definitive plans for the visit.
    via 1961tracy
  • She doubles down and tells me I should think more seriously about a party. I tell her I'll think about it.
    via 1961tracy
  • Then she tells me that she wants the opportunity to ask him if she can visit him with me and ask him if he can ask his friends if she can stay with them.
    via 1961tracy
  • I felt she was suggesting that if I don't ask him privately she will ask him publicly when it would be awkward for him to say no to her.
    via 1961tracy
  • I didn't talk to her for a year after that. If she hadn't been in my friend group I would have ended the 'friendship'.
    via 1961tracy
  • CJsopinion "Listen, Savannah, I was trying to be discreet but Steve and I have no plans on leaving the bedroom, if you know what I mean. It's not the time for a third person."
    via CJsopinion
  • 1961tracy Original Poster's Reply I said that. That's when she came up with crashing with someone else.
    via 1961tracy
  • SATerp Block and ignore is the customary way to deal with a person like that, I think.
    via SATerp
  • 1961tracy Original Poster's Reply We are no longer friends.
    via 1961tracy
  • Ordinary-Carry8818 Sounds like she's bound and determined to score free accommodations in Steve's city. Is his home in a highly desirable and pricey location?
    via Ordinary-Carry8818
  • 1961tracy Original Poster's Reply Yes and she is very thrifty.
    via 1961tracy
  • GGGGroovyDays60s Good for you! Q: Are you still in her "friends" group?
    via GGGGroovyDays60s
  • 1961tracy Original Poster's Reply No, I am no longer friends with them. We drifted away from each other.
    via 1961tracy
  • Competitive_Law1032 Did she end up becoming one of those vacation influencers who dominate their trips etc ?
    via Competitive_Law1032
  • 1961tracy Original Poster's Reply That would be an interesting plot twist.
    via 1961tracy
  • VinylHighway You've tried being nice, you've tried being indirect, now is the time to shut it down.
    via VinylHighway

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Tags

boyfriend friendship woman flight attendant friends relationships girlfriend romantic getaway entitled people vacation
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